Living Our Now
by MeredyxD
Summary: What happens after Alby wakes up from his "sleep" caused by the serum for a Griever bite. Newt talks to Alby and tries to comfort him. Oneshot, Alby x Newt. Nalby .


_**Note:** I did not read "The Maze Runner Trilogy". I was going to categorize this fanfiction under "Movies" but there was no subset category for "The Maze Runner". This fanfiction is based mostly on the movie, some things may contradict the novel such as Newt not being a runner in the movies but being a runner in the novel. The only thing I took from the novel was how Alby saved Newt's life after he attempted suicide in the maze, but I don't even know what happened after Alby saved him, so it's my interpretation and if anything contradicts the book please excuse me :) I will try to read the books as soon as I can, but for now, this fanfiction is for the movie._

* * *

"Alby's awake." Teresa said, gaining the hopeful looks of the Gladers around her. One of the Gladers' eyes shone more than any other though, and those were the eyes of the passionate, kind-hearted Glader, Newt. "Alby" he whispered to himself, then started running to where he was being taken care of. "Alby!" he shouted this time, then started running even faster. The other Gladers were running behind him, trying to catch up. It was funny; Newt usually wasn't very fast- if he were, he would've been a runner- but right now, he was running faster than even Thomas and Minho. He only had one wish: To see Alby awake, safe and sound.

"Alby" he said softly when he saw the young man sitting on the side of the bed, keeping silent. He sat next to him, approaching carefully as if scared to hurt him. "What happened to you? Are you okay?" he asked. No answer came from Alby, but none needed to come for Newt to see that no, he wasn't okay, he wasn't alright. "Alby, what happened?" he asked again, softer this time, placing a hand on his shoulder. By this time, the other Gladers had had come; Thomas was kneeled beside Alby on the floor, Chuck, Frypan and Winston were standing curiously, Minho was watching from a distance. They all looked at Newt, waiting for him to speak to Alby or say something or give him a hug before they started talking and asking questions themselves. Newt caringly moved his hand from Alby's shoulder to his arm, then slowly started to move his hand up and down in an attempt to comfort. Alby looked at Thomas, not noticing Newt's hand on his arm, and asked, "Why?". His voice sounded fragile, broken. "Why, Thomas?" he asked.

"Why what?" Thomas asked in return.

Alby remained silent, but a single tear trickled down his cheek. Newt quickly pulled Alby into a hug, trying to wipe away his tear, only for Alby to pull away and start screaming, pulling his legs up to his chest and getting into a fetal position. All the Gladers seemed shocked and concerned; they didn't know what was wrong with their friend or why he was so upset and miserable. Newt looked up to the Gladers and told them to get out, to give them some privacy. All the Gladers followed the order quickly and obediently, except for Thomas who looked at Alby for a long time before he left, trying to figure out what he had done to make Alby feel this way. "Go!" Newt said again, more aggressively this time. Alby was rocking back and forth, mumbling to himself and sobbing. Thomas left, looking back for the last time, then closing the door behind him on the couple.

"Baby. Hey, hey. Baby." Newt said, wrapping his arms around Alby's strong body. Alby had always been the wise, always been the tough one in the relationship; Newt wasn't used to comforting Alby when he felt sad, because he never _seemed_ sad. He always looked so in control, so confident that no one remembered how scared, how frightened Alby must have felt during his first month alone in the Glade. He never mentioned it to anyone, he never mentioned to anyone how he felt lost and lonely and crazy. Except for Newt. Newt knew how lonely he had been during his first month. Newt knew how Alby cried himself to sleep every night as he heard the shrieks and the screams of the Grievers coming from the Maze. He knew how Alby woke up each morning with the hope that this was all just a nightmare, and then face the harsh fact that this was in fact real life. He hugged Alby now, remembering all these feelings he had shared with him before.

"Alby. You're not lonely. I'm here for you. I'm here with you. You're not alone. I love you." Newt said, trying to slow down Alby's rocking back and forth. Alby cried audibly, for a few seconds alone, and then he wrapped his arms around Newt's neck and buried his face in his chest. "N-newt" he said, struggling to get out even one word properly. "Shh." Newt said. "Don't speak if it hurts you to do so.". He rubbed his back with his hand. Alby buried his head even deeper, and cried without saying a word for a long time.

About half an hour later, Alby lifted his head from Newt's chest and looked at him, wiping his tears from his eyes. "I-I'm sorry, Newt" he whispered. "Shh. It's okay. It's okay, Alby." Newt said. Alby looked sadly into his eyes, ashamed for crying so long yet still feeling afraid. Newt took his face in his hands, and softly gave him a kiss on his lips. "I love you, Newt." Alby whispered.

"I love you." Newt said back to him.

"I'm sorry for staining your shirt." he said.

"That's okay, I can wash it." Newt said. Alby chuckled just a little.

"What happened Alby?" Newt asked. "What happened during-

"My memories." Alby replied.

"..What?" Newt asked, surprise detecting in his voice.

"My memories. They came back to me. I remember everything Newt. Everything."

"Is that bad? Were your memories bad?"

"I wish I never got them back."...

* * *

Newt remembered back to a few years ago when he was just a newbie in the Glade. He felt so confused; he longed for his memories and his past, and not being able to remember them drove him insane. He didn't want to feel trapped in this place anymore. He wanted to remember, he wanted to go outside, he wanted to be back with his parents or with his siblings (if he had any) or with his friends. He missed his life which he didn't remember, he missed what he wanted to be. He remembered going into the Maze, and climbing up a wall, and then letting himself go. He tried to take his life that day. He was hurt, bruised but he didn't die. He laid on the floor, silently, unable to get up, when he suddenly felt two strong arms lifting his body up and carrying him towards the exit. He saw that it was Alby who had saved him, but he had no strength to speak up and say the words "Thank you.". He wasn't sure whether he wanted to live but he was just glad that someone had cared, that Alby had cared, that he had cared so much that he risked his life to save him. He wrapped his arms around Alby's neck and let him carry him like a child and take care of him.

Alby laid him onto a bed, called over some nurses and personally aided the nurses to clean his wounds and patch them up. When the nurses were gone, he sat next to Newt. Newt looked up at him, and mumbled through his lips, begging; "P-please. Don't be angry with me.".

"I'm not angry with you." Alby said in a soothing voice.

"Really?" Newt asked.

"Really. I.. I know how you feel. I was like you. I tried to kill myself too. But when I did that no one was around to save me. I had to save myself."

"I-I'm sorry. I'm grateful that you saved me."

"It's alright, I didn't mean it like that. I meant.. That I was alone when I went through this, but you don't have to be.".

"..."

"Why'd you do it, Newt?" Alby asked.

"I don't know!" Newt exclaimed, then started crying.

"Shh. It's okay. It's okay." Alby said, pulling Newt into his arms. "It's okay to feel this way."

"No.. I-I.. I want my life back. I want to get out of here, Alby. I want to go back home. And then I remember that I don't even know where home is, I don't even know where I would go even if I got out of this maze. I'm lost, Alby."

"Home is here." Alby said.

"W-what?" Newt asked.

"Home is here. I know it's not perfect, I know you feel trapped, and some days I do too. But this is our home. We built this place together. We worked for this place together. And we've got each others' backs. We are family, Newt. And home is where you feel belonged, and you belong with us."

"But-

"It doesn't matter what your past was like. Yeah, you had a past, but you're living in **now**. So try to make your 'now' the best possible it can be. Because we are here for you, and we want your 'now' to be happy and beautiful. Your past doesn't make you who you are today, your actions do. Your days here. They make you who you are. And you can be whoever you choose to be. You're not lost, Newt."

Newt stayed silent, letting Alby's words of wisdom sink in. He then finally spoke, looking into Alby's eyes; "Alby. Thank you for saving my life.".

"It was my pleasure, Newt." Alby said, then put his hand on his cheek. "Good night." he said, but didn't get up to leave.

"Are you not leaving?" Newt asked.

"What? Leave you alone after you've attempted suicide? I would be a horrible friend if I left you alone when you were feeling sad. I want you to know that you're not alone. I'm here for you and I'm not gonna leave your side.".

"A-Alby..." Newt said in disbelief.

"Shh." Alby said, then gave a kiss on Newt's cheek. "Good night, Newt." he said.

"Good night, Alby." Newt said, holding Alby's hand and clinging onto it even after he fell asleep.

* * *

"You wish you never got them back?" Newt asked gently.

"Yes!" Alby shouted angrily. "That's what I just said, wasn't it Newt? That I wish I didn't get my memories back. That I wish I **died** from the Griever's bite rather than be saved and get my memories back."

"Alby..." Newt said, tears welling up in his eyes. Alby's look softened. "N-no. That's not what I meant Newt. That's not what I meant.". He brushed away the tear that was rolling down Newt's cheek. "I'm sorry, Newt." he said, hugging the broken-hearted boy.

"Alby, do you remember what you said to me the night after I tried to commit suicide?"

"Yes, I do."

"That it didn't matter what my past was like? That I had had a past but what mattered now was now?"

"Yes, I do Newt. But that's just the problem. I _haven't_ had a past. None of us have. We don't have families back home, Newt. We don't have friends. We're experiments."

"W-what are you talking about?" Newt asked.

"We're all part of an experiment, Newt! We were all put here for an experiment! Our lives don't matter, we don't have a past, and we won't have a future. We're either going to live here trapped forever, or we're going to end up dead when the experiment is over. I.. Newt I..."

"Hey. I don't understand what you're talking about, but you can explain to me what you mean in detail later. Right now, it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter that we didn't get to live a past. And maybe I don't understand how cruel and heartbreaking the situation we were placed in is, but I don't think it affects how we act now. You still have now, Alby. And maybe this experiment is horrible, but.. but it got me to meet you. If it weren't for this, I would've never met you.".

"Newt.." Alby whispered.

"No, really! I don't care if I have been kept as a lab rat for all my life, I don't care if my past was taken away from me or that I didn't or don't have a family or any friends or a home out there. I don't care. It's because of all of these that I met you, and if I were given the chance to choose, I would choose you out of all the things I counted just now. I love you, Alby. I love you and I love you more than anything in this life. So I'm grateful that you don't have a past, and I'm grateful that _I_ don't have a past, and I'm grateful that you love me back. Because we belong together Alby."

"..."

"Alby?"

Alby passionately kissed Newt, his fingers moving through his golden blonde hair. His cheeks were wet from crying, but this time his tears were tears of joy, tears of happiness, tears of love. "I love you, Newt" he said, and kissed him again, and didn't let go for a long time. After he let go, he lied down on the bed, and Newt lied down beside him, and held his hand.

"Do you remember that night when you said you felt lost, Newt?" Alby asked.

"Do you feel lost now, Alby?"

"No, Newt. I'm found with you."


End file.
